"Dwight, You Ignorant Slut!"

phoebekiddd:

bombliate:

how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it

I’ve never… really thought about it that way……..

(Source: clanked)

niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

Is this how I use it?

efuhr795:

I legit have no clue how to use this #newby

first of all evan dont hashtag anything on here, it makes you look like a tool omfg 

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

(Source: daenerystargayren)

humancentipeed:

In the Sims, you don’t say, “I love you.” You say, “Habadu bashubi,” which roughly translates to, “I cannot move because there is furniture in the way.” I think that’s absolutely beautiful.

lolzpicx:

This gif is a really accurate summary of my life

(Source: raggedycass)

actionfighter:

no phone don’t autocorrect my i’s to capitals i need to look cool & casual for the internet

(Source: weirdalfan)